Just remember what happened to the boy who suddenly got everything he ever wanted...

A picture is worth a thousand words. But if you're using Apple's brand new Leopard OS, or Adobe's latest CS package, placing a picture or typing any words will likely make you crash. Sometimes you just have to express yourself through error messages.

The first day of college is daunting for anyone. You're striking out on your own for the first time, and you're basically throwing out the rule book of life.

You're not obligated to do something because your parents tell you to; you do it because you know the consequences of failing to do it. You're not defaulted friends simply because you're in the same home room. You're left to your own devices to find people you enjoy being around.

“Most editors are failed writers, but then so are most writers.” – T.S. Eliot

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. It’s not something I felt, it’s something I knew. I was breaking down the stories of the Saturday cartoons as soon as I was old enough to follow them, trying to find their central theme, analyzing how the story progressed and characters were developed.

The word you’re passed away in its sleep last night. It was 78. It’s survived by its wife it’s (itself on its last legs) and its children he’s,  and she’s.

You’re had enjoyed a brief period of prominence back when people actually spoke and wrote fluent English, a dead language originally thought to be taught in American public schools. Part of the larger contraction fad, you’re led the vanguard of shortened speech.

“You, all right? I learned it by watching you!”

It’s called a shared cultural experience. Something we all grew up with, grew up surrounded by, so a passing reference to it will be understood by anyone who shares your cultural values. It’s a way to single out those who are like you in a crowd.

Editor’s note: Years ago, during the old iteration of The Red Wire, we unwisely opened the page up to the losers who read it. The result was this giant piece of shit.

DURRRRRR

BOW TO YOUR NEW GOD

So maybe you've gotten here because you did a google search for
'world's largest wang' and my name popped up. Maybe you're one of the
two people who used to frequent this site when it was the world's
largest online source for David Lynch slash fiction. Maybe you're the
FBI.

You may have even come here because you're one of the 200
people a day who do a google image search for asshole.jpg and find this
fine looking fella: